Friday Bitch & Brag
January 5, 2024 Edition
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Less than a week into the new year and there’s still plenty to bitch and brag about. Let’s get into it!
Bitch: HM got a Magic Bullet blender at Christmas and I’ve been using it a lot to make smoothies in the morning, but I’m disappointed by its blending capabilities. Just when I think I’ve gotten all the little frozen fruit bits all chopped up, I go to drink my smoothie and bam, a mushy chunk of banana or strawberry bonks me on the lip.
Brag: Remember how I was bitching about a manicure fail? I have since gotten three different quick-dry polishes from three different brands to try out. (This vibrant shimmery magenta from Essie is fun.) This week I gave myself a manicure using Sally Hansen Insta-Dri polish in That’s A-Blazing bright red. It turned out great and I am now thinking the quick dry colors, in combination with my favorite ridge filler and quick dry shiny top coat, are the way to go.
Bonus Item: On Thursday, I took side streets back home and discovered this house decorated with an insane amount of inflatable Christmas decorations. That yard is going to look so sad when all of these decorations are deflated. I hope no one comes by with a really sharp pin before that happens.
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Bitch: On Tuesday afternoon, I went through the McDonald’s drive-thru to get a coffee for Mari plus late lunch for me. On the order screen I saw the coffee was rung up as a senior coffee and I nearly lost it. I’m guessing the cashier saw the grey-haired lady on the drive-thru camera feed and, like his fellow ageist twits at MF’ing Harris-Teeter, made an incorrect assumption. Since the coffee was, in fact, being purchased for a senior, I let it go. THIS TIME.
Brag: Tuesday was a wash, honestly, and when I walked into a nearby Royal Farms for a therapy Coke and soft pretzels (if they had any) I felt like a fat, dumb old lady and even muttered that to myself under my mask. But as I stood by the fountain drinks, two women from the food counter told me how much they loved my hair color and how pretty they thought it was. I thanked them and told them about junior mint [Ed. note: this is my term for someone younger than me when they do something that demonstrates their inexperience] from McDonald’s, and they were justifiably horrified as well. As I was ringing up my Coke and soft pretzels (they had them in stock, YAY), the woman behind the front registers also complimented my hair, at which point I yelled out, “This is the best Royal Farms ever and these three women deserve a raise.” I think I freaked out the manager-in-training with my exuberance, but he does not understand what it’s like to be a woman of a certain age. The universe gets it, however, and brought me three lovely women to offer approval and validation.
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Bitch: In the same way that my cats leave a big poop in the litter box once I’ve cleaned and refilled it, they also like to puke right after I’ve vacuumed. What is is about fresh litter and vacuum lines that upset cats so much? Do they feel their existence has been erased and therefore they must re-stake their claim?
Brag: I vacuumed before the first week of January ended and that is brag-worthy for me.
This week on The Corinne Channel: dastardly sheriffs, valiant midwives, throwback pop, and more!
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