It may be Good Friday, but that doesn’t stop me from bitchin’ and braggin’ over here. Circle up, kids!
Bitch: ‘Tis the season for me to get what I call Poop Mail, as in the at-home colorectal cancer screening kit from my doctor. Completing this screening is a comedy of errors at best1, but hey, it’s better than a sigmoidoscopy, right?
Brag: There is a playground across the street from where I live and this week I got on the swings three times after a walk. What is it about being on a swingset that brings about so much glee and pleasure? I don’t care, but I’m going to keep on being that silver-haired lady on the swings, singing along with her Spotify playlist as I get airborne.
Bitch: Somehow I managed to get a blood blister on the side of my right pinky finger and it’s in a spot where I hit it every time I’m typing or writing by hand. I have been periodically icing it to alleviate the pain, but considering how much I use my hands throughout the day, I may need to take further action.
Brag: In the interest of adding another protein option to my usual repertoire, I decided to try cottage cheese again after 40+ years. My 5th grade teacher - may she be burning in hell for her rampant misogyny and narcissistic personality2 - ruined cottage cheese for me, so I stayed away. Last week I found a single-serving cup to try and liked it way more than I expected, and today I bought a bigger size container. Letting go of the past can be healing AND tasty.
Bitch: I see so many typos and mistakes in online content that range from mildly inconvenient to misleading and it all makes me crazy. I feel as if it’s gotten worse over the last few months, and it’s made me hypervigilant with my own content creation. That means when I make any mistakes I get extra annoyed, because then I can’t be a self-righteous, sanctimonious bitch and that’s always a let-down3.
Brag: As I am more open about my 20+ year astrological studies, I’m getting way more inquiries about astrology from friends & family. I am really enjoying talking to them about astrological transits, asking them about when they began seeing certain patterns emerge in their life, and getting confirmation on the timing. Hearing their responses on how they feel understood and seen is incredibly rewarding. It’s encouraging me to finally complete my website for this purpose and get back to offering chart readings.
*All names have been changed.
I won’t go into further detail. If you know, you know.
I said what I said. She was absolutely awful.
I am only semi-joking. I live for the moments when I can be self-righteous and sanctimonious. It’s my shadow side, what can I say?