A Moment on Mental Health

Taking a moment to talk about mental health

On May 5, 2023, I sat in my doctor’s office and cried as I was going through a major mental health crisis. My thoughts had been racing for several days, full of frightening moments, to the point I knew I needed to be on medication. She prescribed Effexor, which I’ve written about on this Substack a few times. While that medication smoothed out the rough edges of my anxiety and depression, it also numbed my emotional response to the point that I didn’t cry for nearly the entire time I was on Effexor. On one hand, it was nice to not burst into tears or feel them welling up for the littlest things, good or bad; on the other, it was frustrating to not have that physical release available to me when so often I’ve found crying to be cathartic and healing, even if it’s embarrassing at times.

After several discussions with my doctor about the side effects and my progress in dealing with my anxiety and depression, at the end of 2023 I decided to go off Effexor. I slowly titrated off the drug, taking my last dose in February. Since then I’ve had my share of struggles with depression and anxiety, but fortunately it has not been as bad as it was last year.

I have dealt with depression and anxiety from a young age, but it wasn’t until my early 20s that I sought help. I spent most of my twenties on antidepressants, from Prozac to Serzone, with a brief yet awful experience taking Depakote because a psychiatrist misdiagnosed me as bipolar. The summer of my 28th year¹, I experienced multiple anxiety attacks and major depressive episodes that were so bad, I spent one night in a mental health facility. I was able to check out after agreeing to attend an outpatient mental health treatment program. I credit that program at Montgomery General Hospital with teaching me ways to manage my depression and anxiety, as well as recognizing when I need to seek additional help—which I did last year, when my thoughts got so awful I couldn’t make them stop using my usual management tools.

This year, I kept forgetting that May is Mental Health Awareness Month, likely because I was busy tending to my mental health. What that looks like for me includes:

• exercising regularly, whether that’s walking or doing YouTube workouts at home

• eating balanced meals as much as possible, and being aware of any emotional eating patterns

• limiting my alcohol consumption

• developing and maintaining a sleep routine to ensure I get enough rest

• writing or journaling out my feelings

• regular visits and/or conversations with friends & family members

• keeping in touch with my doctors

• setting boundaries with myself and others when it comes to stressful situations, topics of discussion, media consumption, and other matters

Part of living a life of moxie means I am forthcoming about my own mental health issues because I want other people to see that it is okay to not be okay. It is okay to need help in dealing with difficult situations and personal challenges. It is okay to ask for help, whether from a family member, friend, or health care professional.

It’s okay to not be okay. Image courtesy NAMI.

Mental health awareness is something that we can’t limit to 30 days. We have to be aware 24/7/365, and we have to support others around us with their mental health as well. If you or someone you know is dealing with a mental health issue, call, text or chat with the NAMI HelpLine, a free, nationwide peer-support service providing information, resource referrals and support to people living with a mental health condition, their family members and caregivers, mental health providers and the public. HelpLine staff and volunteers are experienced, well-trained and able to provide guidance. In the USA, call 988 if you’re experiencing a major mental health crisis.

1. I no longer have my journals from that year nor do I have any other records, so my recall on the timing is a bit fuzzy, but based on what materials I do have, I’m pretty certain it was the spring/summer of my 28th year.