Declaration of My Independence, 2024 Edition

Going beyond life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness

The same high school teacher who inspired Friday Bitch and Brag also inspired me to declare my independence from something every year on Independence Day. It started with a class assignment to write our own personal declaration, giving our reasons why it was necessary. I wrote mine on not being obligated to spend holidays with relatives, and when we had to share our papers with the rest of the class, mine was voted as the best. I guess I wasn’t the only one who had experienced dysfunctional family gatherings in the past.¹

Hand holding lit sparkler with American flag in shadow in the background. Photo by Trent Yarnell on Unsplash

On my first blog, I often posted the year’s declaration. It served in some ways as a mid-year resolution, a personal commitment to let go of something that I felt was holding me back. One year it was worrying about money. Another year it was gluten. More recently, I declared my independence from celebrating a holiday when basic human rights are being denied to so many Americans².

At first I wasn’t sure what my personal declaration should be this year. The last few months have been so fraught with tragedy, drama, and chaos on a national and international level that my own little declaration seems irrelevant and childish. And after this week’s decision by SCOTUS regarding presidential immunity, well, I have my doubts as to whether the United States of America is still the land of the free. It’s definitely the home of the brazen.

But this Substack is called A Life of Moxie for a reason: I am not here to write nice little essays and posts that don’t make waves. I’m here to write content that goes where the blood runs hot. I’m here to write what I need to write.

I have spent all of my life being motivated by two things: fear and shame. Fear that if I did or said the things that were really important to me, I would lose validation and acceptance from the people I care about. I also wanted to avoid being shamed or humiliated by anyone. I spend an inordinate amount of time walking around feeling shame or fear for any number of reasons.

And I am tired of this bullshit.

This year, I’m declaring my independence from allowing fear and shame to motivate my behavior. I’m telling myself that if a big idea or dream pops up, but those loudmouths Fear and Shame start telling me, “it will never work” or “you are going to get laughed at if you do that thing” or “you don’t know nearly enough to try this” or “OMG in this economy??”, I am going to say, “Thanks for your feedback, I’m going to do this anyway and whatever happens, happens.” Because my past successes tell me they are wrong:

• At 29, I left a marriage that wasn’t working anymore and moved 3,000 miles away to start over.

• I drove a 15-foot moving truck by myself for 7 hours when I left L.A. for northern California.

• I set out to try several different jobs and did them well: magazine editing and writing, marketing, public relations.

• I did presentations all over California on social media and platform development for writers.

• I wrote a novel.

Was I afraid when I started all of those things? Sure. Was I worried I would make a complete ass of myself? Yep. Did I occasionally make an ass of myself? Of course. But I survived. I made things work. I put my faith in the universe to point me in the right direction. And there is no reason why that wouldn’t work again now, when I’m at a point where I’m extremely unclear what comes next. Where I have taken a few steps toward a couple new career paths that interest me.

I don’t know what’s coming next, whether personally or nationally or globally. I may be rather prescient at times, but I cannot predict the future with 100% accuracy. What I can do, though, is trust in the process and my progress, and that happens when I tell fear and shame to step aside, because I have more important things to do than listen to them.

What will you declare your independence from this year?

1. To the family members reading this post, I’m obviously not talking about you.

2. Read the Universal Declaration of Human Rights here.